why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
