no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
