Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
