Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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