oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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