i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
