He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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