he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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