I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
