i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
