It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
