He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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