So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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