the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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