I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
