I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
