chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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