If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
