I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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