Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
