I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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