another moral hangover. fuck.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
