I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
