My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
