I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
