I got chris browned last night
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
