What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
