Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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