I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
