i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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