I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
