Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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