when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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