If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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