i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
