I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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