we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
