Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
