just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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