So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
