So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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