Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
