it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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