Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
