i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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