Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize