Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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