Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize