Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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