Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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