i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
