i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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