if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize