You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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