Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
