Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
being pregnant is like rehab
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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