Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize