Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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