I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
